All this week fataslly has been chronicling the cringeworthy sexual revelations in Cherie Blair’s memoir. Being an altogether less prurient individial (Ian raided the Pigs Might Fly box for that statement – JG) I have managed to avoid these tales of forgotten contraceptive equipment and the deflowering of young Cherie on the top deck of a Number 69 bus.
Today however, the Blair Memorandum did manage to catch my eye for a different reason. It was this quotation wot done it:
The one thing I know is Tony is a person of integrity and that he was absolutely doing everything he could to avoid a war.

Skipping over the dodgy placement of “absolutely” and the implicit suggestion Chrie’s book was ghost written by No. 1 International Bestselling Author Katie Price, and the small point that the “one thing” she knew is actually two things, we note that Tony was actually doing everything he could to avoid a war except for saying, “Look George, there is absolutely no evidence Saddam has Weapons Of Mass Destruction so I can’t commit British forces to an invasion.”
Or should that be in Cherie-ese; there absolutely is no evidence.”

TODAY WE COMMENTED ON:
Pajamasmedia - the backlash begins

Balloon Juice - Super Delegates

It is a while since we found a story worth of one of our stupid criminal of the month awards and the last time we had one it was from the U.S. Sunshine state of Florida. Maybe the heat down there affects their brains.

Anyway, Miami’s most wanted, a gang leader by the name of Rudy Villanueva has been banged up for six years for firearms offences. Villanueva had become so confident of his ability to outwit Miami P.D. that he posted on You Tube a video of himself brandishing an AK47 and challenging the cops to “come and find me,”
His soundtrack went like this:

“Metro–Dade gang unit, here I am baby, come and get me if you can. I’m takin’ it to the next level, dogs. Come get some when yo’ ready, come get some! Yeah baby!”

Unfortunately Villanueva appeared alongside his sidekick Tony Logan, in Logan’s apartment which was recognised by officers who had recently searched it.

Six years is the maximum for possessing illegal firearms in the state. Its a pity there is no offence that covers being an idiot in charge of a webcam, Villanueva could have been sent down for a few more years for that.

Pandangon - Gay Marriage Rears its Head Again More feminist stuff at Pandangon

Samizdata - PJ O'Rourke sums up the elections A Republican but stylish and witty as ever, P.J. is always worth reading.

Commentary Magazine - Obama Not Making New Friends Al tals somebody attacks the sexist, racist campaign waged by Barak Obama against Hillary Clinton

What is Anti Semitism? When anybody criticises Israel they are accused of anti-semitism. But the samitic races occupy most of the lands Israel consideres its enemies.

I don't know what Cherie was hoping to achieve with her autobiography, apart from a big, fat paycheck, but if she was hoping to win public sympathy then she has got it sadly wrong. Yesterday I told you how she claimed to have 'Bonked at Balmoral', now be prepared for even more salacious gossip.
Regarding seducing Tone she writes,

"Tired though I was I decided to sit it out until Derry went home on his own. Eventually he did. Then Tony and I took the bus...
It was a double decker and we went upstairs. It was completely empty and by the time we got off we knew each other better than when we got on. And even better the next morning."

So that would be 'know' in the biblical sense one surmises.

Then she goes on to say that she was already dating two other blokes, and it sounds as if Derry might have been fancying his chances if she 'decided to sit it out and wait for him to go home on his own.'

Only one thing to say really.

SLAPPER!

Links:
Quake - The Orgasms of Girl with a one track mind

Immortality or bust

On reading that the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill now on it’s way through Parliament will allow women to be impregnated by Posthumous Sperm my first thought was to find out who this Posthumous Sperm person might be and why he is particularly qualified to impregnate women. It is after all a job many of us blokes would be well up for if we were given the chance.
(As I read out my preamble to fatsally I notice young Boggart Blog Cub reporter bouncing around in his chair and shouting “me, me, I’ll do it, where can I get an application form.
Unfortunately for him and other hopefuls, the government seems set on making Posthumous Sperm the official impregnator. So who is he?
The name could have come from a Dickens or Mark Twain novel; Dickens’ Posthumous Sperm would be a pompous lawyer while Twain’s sounds more like a Mississippi Riverboat gambler or a snake oil salesman. As fictional creatures though it is doubtful either would have the necessary tools to complete the task. We looked further afield but still drew a blank.
Then it struck me, maybe Posthumous Sperm was an honorific rather than a name, a relic of the name given to the priest who impersonated Ra as his sister Isis impregnated herself from his corpse after Set, Lord of Darkness had murdered him.
This would put the name Posthumous Sperm alongside The Green Man, Lord of the Woods, Master of Revels, Lord of Misrule, Lobby Ludd, all traditions in which a likely lad was selected to lead an orgiastic fertility rite.
So why is Parliament suddenly interested?
I concluded they are clearing the way for one of those pagan traditions to be updated as a new reality TV show for Simon Cowell’s production company. Just think, it is a natural progression from X Factor and Britain’s Got Talent.
The opening show would feature auditions in which Mr. Potato Head no–hopers tried to impress a panel of judges by reciting their best chat – up lines.
In the next rounds the contestants could face sexy tasks, eating a dozen oysters, knocking one off the wrist while looking at a picture of Heather Mills Medusa, seducing a nun etc.
For the final, the hopefuls could have a weight attached to their willie and then be brought to arousal by a sex therapist or high class hooker, the winner being the one who lifted the weight highest.
The action would have to be filmed behind a backlit white screen so it was only visible in silhouette, but intercut with shots of Simon looking bored, Amanda Holden wide eyed and slack jawed and Piers Morgan smirking as he thinks of another way to irritate Simon, it would be great television.
I have said for a long time politicians are in the pocket of big business. I think this proves it.

TODAY WE COMMENTED ON:

Tiny Little Hip hop Whores

The Nose on your face

Crooks and Liars - Who Should Be Vice President

The atheist and the creationist

Armies, war and Israel

John McCain and Al Qaeda

A caller today on the Jeremy Vine program had a little rant about how stupid this government thinks the populace are. Well you get what you deserve, after all we did elect Tony not once, which could have been forgiveable, not twice which was a genuine head-in-the-sand moment, but three times, which has to be the epitome of stupidity.

To further prove my point, a majority of the people who voted thought they were getting a man of integrity, resolve and high principle, instead they ended up with someone little better than a schoolboy who can't kleep his pecker in his pants, if Cherie's memoirs are to be believed.

Cherie asks us to believe that she, an educated, professional woman with a practically grown up family, was too embarrassed to pack her 'contraceptive equipment' for a stay at Balmoral, as on her previous visit her bags, including her toilet bag, had been unpacked by the staff. (This does beg the question what sort of 'contraceptive equipment' was she using, pills, diaphraghms. sponges and condoms could all be carried in her handbag and an IUD would have been worn anyway, I didn't think anybody still used douche bags, and as for the methods of contraception condoned by the catholic church, the rhythym method and coitus interruptus I believe, these require no outside accessories other than an ability to count and self restraint.)
However, even if we swallow that, she still asks us to believe that a woman in her forties had no idea when her period might be due and therefore whether it was worth taking the risk of having unprotected intercourse, or that her husband was not responsible enough to settle for a hand or blow job on finding out that she didn't have any contraception with her. Obviuosly she and her husband were so full of lust they could not restrain themselves for one night to give him chance to pop out to the local shop and buy some johnnies, or more discreetly to send one of his bodyguards perhaps. More like the behaviour of two frustrated teenagers rather than a world leader and his partner.

Doesn't it strike one as odd that Cherie professes this embarrassment now, yet there have been no stories in the press from royal flunkies detailing the medievalesque contraptions that Cherie carries around with her in order to avoid pregnancy, nor any accounts of lurid sex sessions heard through closed doors.
Could be a lesson in discretion for you there Mrs. Blair
On the other hand you don't think she might be making it all up do you? Me, I've always thought little Leo was knitted by the WRVS.

SezJez and dad are sitting at the kitchen table, Dad having returned from an aborted trip to Edinburgh. SezJez is waiting for breakfast, french toast, Dad is sipping a cup of coffee before returning to the fray.
I serve up the toast, golden and crispy. As is our wont in this house SezJez recites a line from a song.

My husband and I look at each other bemused.

"Gordon Brown text your lights on."? we query together.

Is this some new policy from the wonderkind, or perhaps BMW's latest tech gadget?

No, just "The ants are my friend" syndrome.

TODAY WE COMMENTED ON:

Iain Dale's Diary - Fixed Term Parliaments Iain Dale argues for fixed term Parliaments - I agree, with reservations.

The UFO files So the UFO data released does not prove there are aliens. Sceptical scientists are gleeful, but why. It doesn't prove there are not any aliens.
Stem Cell research Scientists complain the debate on stem cell research is being hijacked by religion and emotive issues. But when have we ever been able to trust scientists to know where the ethical line is drawn.
Gordon's Four Steps to recovery We think it will take much more to save Labour. Gordon will have to enter a twelve step programme.

A recent survey on our understanding of a portion of fruit and veg shows that 25% of the surveyed adults thought orange squash counted as a portion of fruit. A can of Tango must count as two portions then. Add a portion of lemon meringue pie and you're almost there!
The survey also found that 10% thought that herbs counted as a portion, in which case I would suggest that they are not familiar with the difference between 'tsp' (about 5g) and 'tbs' (about 25g), whilst 13%of the men surveyed included oily fish in their vegetable intake. Judging from the ideas they hold to be true I should imagine oily fish would be found not to be mackerel, herring or sardines but a nice bit of cod deep fried in cooking oil, thus making it 'oily' fish.

However to help the confused Boggart has come up with it's own guidelines to help you ensure you get a balanced diet.

What can be counted as a portion of fruit or veg:-

a bowl of Heinz tomato soup, it says so on the tin

a half pint pot of fruit yoghurt

half a jar of jam

a cupful of chocolate coated raisins

a ramekin of tomato sauce

2 tbs mustard, any kind, but if you get one with the seeds in you can use it as an exfoliant too and that will also count as a portion of fruit and veg

white bread, 4 slices; wholemeal bread, 3 slices; wholegrain bread, 2 slices;

100g of chocolate, well it's made from cocoa beans innit, they've got to count cos they grow on trees

a half bottle, at least, of wine, doesn't matter about the colour. You can drink more if you wish but it still only counts as one portion

3 pints of beer, you must get three pints out of a portion of hops

Of course using your initiative and with a bit of lateral thinking I'm sure you will be able to add to this list, after all, all food chains start with vegetation which surely means that even if you want to enjoy a tomato and onion salad a good healthy accompaniment would be an 8oz rib eye steak....well it started life as a clump of grass.

TODAY WE COMMENTED ON:
Huffington Post - The Bipartisanship scam Is the two party system a confidence trick?

abc news Political Punch
Did Obama Insult The Jewish State? "Obama insulted Israel" say The Republicans. "No he didn't, the media twisted his words" say hid Democrat supporters. But if he had insulted the Jewish State it would have been the most politically astute foreign policy statement an American had made for years.

Proof at last - Einstein was an atheist Proof at last that Einstein was an Atheist - not that it will stop those bloody e-mails that claim to prove he wasn't.

In the early nineten eighties, at the height of the Thatcher Government's war on the Working Class, Manchesters punk poet John Cooper Clarke, then at the height of his popularity, used to perform a poem that contained the lines:
Keith Joseph laughs and a baby dies
In a box on Beasley Street...
Keith Joseph was a right wing idealogue and Margaret Thetcher's chief policy adviser.

A sad news item today was the story of skeletons of two babies being found in an empty house in Manchester. Police said the bodies hd been there some years.

Spooky or what?

TODAY WE COMMENTED ON:

The Most Important Piece of Paper In America

Hulabaloo Long Answers to stupid questions

Informed Comment: Al Jazeera and the U.S. election

Paddington Bear makes a return to the printed page in a new book by author Michael Bond.
In it Paddington copes with life in the 21st century in his inimicable way, leaving a trail of chaos and bemusement behind him.
But just think if Paddington was making his debut in the 21st century, rather than the gentler more trusting times of post-war Britain.

Mr. Brown and Ms. Black first met Paddington on a railway platform.
The Brown-blacks were there to meet their daughter who was coming home from a gap year. It was an excruciatingly hot summer day and once again the station air conditioning proved inadequate for the job.
Every time the sliding doors opened to allow the passage of the sweating herds of commuters, more sickeningly scented warm air wafted into the crowded platforms. The station was overflowing with all manner of people, young men with their shirts off, exposing pregnant looking midriffs whilst gesticulating with their beer cans, teenage girls exposing pregnant looking midriffs displaying a range of metal-ware around their belly buttons, harrassed parents screaming obscenities at the obnoxious, obscenity spouting offspring, every now and again a respectable looking person, keeping their head down and walking briskly, making eye contact with no one as they forged their way through the throngs.
Altogether there was so much noise that Mr. Brown had to tell his significant other three or four times before she understood.
"A bear?....On Paddington station? There can't be, it's probably a drug dealer or something."
"But there is. I distinctly saw it, wearing a funny hat. Over there, behind those mailbags."
They pushed their way through the crowds and Mr. Brown pointed towards a dark corner, "There I told you so."
Ms. Black followed the direction of his pointing finger and could dimly make out a small furry object in the shadows. It was indeed wearing a peculiar hat and appeared to be sitting on a suitcase.
"I think we had better call security," said Ms. Black. "It looks foreign and I dread to think what it may have in that bag. "
The bear noticed the couple staring at it and stood up. It's paw reached up towards it's hat.
"Run" screamed Ms. Black, grabbing hold of Mr. Brown and Pulling him away. "It's got something under its hat."
Others on the station were shaken out of their own self interest by the scream. Some automatically followed the instruction, whilst others stood their, bemusedly trying to understand the meaning of the word 'run'.
The bear began to approach the couple but he was too late, they had already turned and fled.
"Oh, dear," said the bear, "I think I must have offended them," and he took a marmalade sandwich out from beneath his hat and returned to his suitcase.

"Don't move or we'll fire" a voice crackled from somewhere near by. The bear slowly lowered the marmalade sandwich and stared, bewildered at the bristling barrels of a crack team of highly trained anti-terrorist police officers whom, he now noted, encircled him.
"He looks foreign to me, sir, we should shoot to kill!" shouted one of the officers.
"He's got a bag, Sir. Could be a suicide bomber." called another.
At this point Mr. Brown felt he really had to do something. The bear was very small and hadn't actually done anything to warrant the attention it was now receiving.
"I say he's only a little bear," he ventured to the offficers cordoning off the area.
"He could have a bomb in that case," the officer argued back.
"Yes and as this is a busy station he could have his clothes in that case," retorted Mr. Brown beginning to feel quite angry.
The little bear sat quite still, the half eaten sandwich in his paw.
Words from his Aunt Lucy floated back to him, "When you get to England, don't tell them you are South American!" she had sagely warned. However she had also counselled that he could say he was from Darkest Peru as GCSE geography no longer coverd the actual location of countries. The bear decided to bide his time, he didn't think the officers lokked very friendly. He doubted he could placate them with the offer of a marmalade sandwich. But the man who had first seen him now appeared to be speaking on his behalf.
"Look, officer, we've been here for twenty minutes now, goodness knows how long he was here before that, the station has been incredibly busy all that time, if he wanted to blow the place up he could have done it by now and taken out a cohort of police to boot. You don't really think he's a terrorist do you? He's eating a marmalade sandwich for heaven's sake!"
After much discussion amongst themselves the police finally stood down, the bear was taken into police custody and Mr. Brown went along as an adult responsible for the bear.
Nineteen hours later, having spent the night in the cells and been questioned at length several times during that period, ensuring both he and Mr. Brown had not managed a ful hour asleep at any one time, the bear was released into Mr. Brown's care.
"You have to come and stay with us but you need to report to the police station once a week whilst your identity is checked and your application to stay in Britain is processed."Mr. Brown explained to Paddington, but that shouldn't be a problem because Judy, our daughter, had an underage affair with the Home Secretary so we have some leverage there. But in the meantime we need to give you a name." He thought long and hard. "I know, we'll call you Paddington, after the police station where you were first detained without charge!"

Two pensioners from Hampshire Women’s Institute are to tour the world’s red-light districts. Jean Johnson, 62, and Shirley Landells, a 73 year old grandmother will travel to Amsterdam, visit a “bunny ranch” in America, and learn about mini brothels in New Zealand. On their return, they will tell institute members why they think prostitution should be legalised. Mrs Johnson said she expects the trip to be “quite an eye-opener”.

We don't know what these ladies are up to but we in the Boggart Network News editorial office are intrigues by the idea of mini brothels.

Are New Zealanders paying money to have sex with small cars?

Or are there a lot of dwarf hookers in the antipodes?

TODAY WE COMMENTED ON:
Mr. Eugenides - Gordon and Wendy Could Gordon Brown's problems get worse this week as calls for a referendum on Scottish independence gather momentum.

Guido Fawkes on Critics of the Blogosphere Senior journos in the mainstream media are ever eager to ridicule the blogosphere but Guido Fawkes asks are they not just afraid of having their hypocrisy, laziness and complacency exposed.

Will Hutton - America remains an inspiration Senior economist Will Hutton thinks America's dynamism and positive attitude will enable it to bounce back from the current economic problems. Little Nicky Machiavelli argues that dystopic cities, a widening religious divide, racial problems and the excesses of capitalism mean this is more than an economic crisis across the pond.

Amanda on Faith Based Violence at Pandangon Pandangon's Amanda Marcotte looks at the downfall of the Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints cult and asks why so many of these crackpot religions feel the need to oppress, abuse and violate women.

I knew years ago that we couldn't trust politicians, bankers, lawyers, accountants and bosses so I thought I was pretty hardened against the failings of human beings.

But Ant and Dec? If you can't trust them you can't trust anyone.

A press release issued by some wildlife protection group, the name of which escapes me for the moment, carries what could turn out to be the headline of the year.

Great Tits benefit from Global Warming, it proclaims.

In a bird watchers hide somewhere, Sid James laughs, "Hurrr Hurrr Hurrr, Joan Sims and Hattied Jaques chorus "Harrumph," Barbara Windsor sticks her chest out and giggles and Kenneth Williams flares his nostrils and say "Euooooooooh."

I never really got into watching earlier series of The Apprentice, somehow the desperate wannabe Corporate Executives seemed even more repulsive that the desperate wannabe Celebs and Pop Stars of Big Brother and the X – Factor.
This year however, thanks to the sadism of the television schedules there is nothing else to watch of a Wednesday evening.
Sir Alan Sugar I know all about but on the show he is flanked by two fellow panellists, Margaret Mountford and Nick Hewer. Like The Three Amigos this trio have worked together for years, they complement each other, they have all the schtick of an experienced comedy act, the knowing glances, the raised eyebrows etc. They know how to deal with upstarts.
Young wannabes however will always think they can outsmart such old hands, I did at that stage of my career, so did most of you who have scaled the career ladder I expect. We know what to expect from the Apprentices.
This years Apprentices do not disappoint; they are as odious a bunch of ambitious, selfish, untrustworthy, nasty, egotistical, back stabbing, self pitying zero-talents as a manager could ever hope not to meet.
Marvelling at their sheer horribleness on tele is a different matter though. They are compulsive viewing.
This week Sir Alan Sugar selected two teams and set them the task of travelling to Morocco and in the souks of Marrakech haggling to get the best prices for goods from the local traders. The teams were sent off with an extremely detailed list of specifications for what they were to buy, a fixed amount of money and a strict time limit.
The tanned cow’s hide complete with tail did not prove a problem. The team led by “nice Jewish boy” Michael Sophocles soon found a shop selling hides and leather goods in the souk and the “nice Jewish boy” (the significance of which will become apparent,) thought he was the dog’s bollocks when he haggled the trader down from £200 to £54. So pleased with himself was Michael that he told everyone he was the dog’s bollocks loudly and often.
The other team did not fare so well with the hide, they sought out the tannery district of the souk (like a city within a city with over twenty miles of alleyways covering many acres) and had to brave the smells of traditional leather making, a craft that put urine to good use.
Other items on the list, a cactus, a Berber rug and a juicer (I said the list was bizarre) were not difficult. Nor were the medium strung tennis rackets so Michael’s team thought they would gain advantage by bribing the shop to delay the stringing until the following day, incurring a penalty for the team.
Things started to get tough with the Mosque Alarm Clock. These wonderful gadgets are cheap alarm clocks housed in a marble effect plastic case shaped like a mosque.
What is wonderful about Mosque Alarm Clocks is they rouse sleepers with a call to prayer, “Allahu Akbar,” pronounced in stentorian tones. I want one to put in the guest bedroom, nobody would ever outstay their welcome.
Problem for the Apprentices, Sir Alan wanted a green one and green is not the in colour for Mosque Alarm Clocks in Morocco. There was a desperate chase round the electrical quarter before both teams found what they needed.
The most difficult item on the list for the team led by the “nice Jewish boy” was the kosher chicken. While their rivals headed for the Jewish quarter of the souk led by a young Asian woman who knew how souks, bazaars etc. are divided into different areas for different religions and trades, Michael’s team spent a long time discussing what kosher actually was before the “nice Jewish boy” persuaded them it was the Muslim rule that requires meat to be blessed by someone from the mosque. They rushed off to find a Halal butcher.
I should mention here that Alan Sugar is Jewish. Nobody except perhaps his Dear Old Mum has ever accused him of being nice. People do not get to be billionaires by being nice.
Watched by their accompanying judge Margaret who rolled her eyes at the sheer stupidity of what was happening, the team asked about getting someone from the mosque to bless their chicken so it would be kosher. A not so innocent bystander helpfully told them that in Islam all butchers premises are classed as mosques for purposes of blessing kosher meat.
See, Muslims do have a sense of humour.
A bemused butcher finally agreed to say a prayer over the chicken before slaughtering it.

Back in the boardroom at the end of the show Sir Alan faced “nice Jewish boy’s team.” He was not impressed with the report his fellow judge had brought him. His catchphrase, “ YOU’RE FIRED” seemed to be dancing on his lips.
First he reprimanded Jenny who had been appointed team leader for letting Michael usurp her leadership. Then he said “YOU’RE FIRED” to another Jenny for organising the attempt to sabotage the opposing teams tennis rackets. Then he asked the “nice Jewish boy” to tell him about the cow hide.

“Yeah well putting the tennis rackets behind us, I did great with the hide,” Michael burbled, “I haggled them down from £200 to £54,”

He was like a puppy expecting to have its tummy tickled.

“Yeah, nothing wrong with that,” said Sir Alan, his face a mask, “unfortunately the other team went to the tanners quarter and bought a hide for £15.” Then the teeth bared and the claws came out.
“You were supposed to get a kosher chicken, was the one you bought a halal chicken.”
“No Surralan, was a kosher chicken, someone from the mosque blessed it.” Michael cowered.
“Michael, you put on your CV that you are a nice Jewish boy. I’m Jewish, did you think that would impress me?”
“No Surralan, I am Jewish.”
“Then how come you don’t know what kosher means to Jewish people? Are you Jewish or did you lie to impress me?”
“Well I erm I erm well erm...”
“You don’t know whether you are Jewish, drop your trousers, we’ll soon tell you.”
Margaret and Nick exchanged a look that said “we feel sorry for him but we’re having too much fun to help. Michael’s eyes roamed round the studio as if he was looking for a straw to clutch at.
“ I erm – um – er I’m half Jewish.”
“Half Jewish,” bellowed Sugar, “well in that case you should know half of what is going on.”

Looking at the whole team Sugar said coldly, “I asked for a kosher chicken, you brought me a halal chicken because none of you knew what kosher means.” His sneering tone and curled lip suggested the team would have done better had they tried to fob him off with a kosher pork pie.

As the judges pondered the fate of Michael, Nick said, “I can’t understand it, he is clever, he has an honours degree from Edinburgh University.”
Margaret bounced it back, “I think Edinburgh is not what it was.”
A great line for the occasion but not quite fair to Edinburgh’s excellent University. Michael’s plight is an illustration of something I notice more and more. Young people coming out of education are equipped not with insatiable curiosity, a desire to know what is going on and to understand as much about everything as they possibly can, but with insatiable ambition, a swollen and inflamed ego, a blinkered world view, arrogance and a sense of entitlement.
There is an African proverb that should be posted on the wall of every classroom:
“Not to know is bad, to not want to know is unforgivable.”
Modern education is teaching people to not want to know, to not care and thus to not be aware of things in their world. We have a generation of Michael’s getting set to become world leaders in business and politics.

TODAY WE COMMENTED ON:
I Don't Believe It Cardinal Murphy O'Connor offended this writer by suggesting Christians should respect atheists. But was he being pastronising as suggested or was he simply asking Christians to respect the right of others to hold a different p.o.v.
I'm with the Cardinal on this

McCain's Christocrat While the Evangelical Christian buddies of Barak Obama and Hillary Clinton have been closely scrutinised, John McCain has had a relitavelt free ride. But he is happy to accept support from some very scary nutters.

Poll shows record conservative lead A new pll out today shows a record conservative lead over Labour. But is it anything more than a knee jerk response to the local election results by the usual bandwagon riders?

Crooks and Liars McCain's Spiritual Guide Another blog another nutty evangelists unearthed in the McCain camp.

Down With Tyranny Some Obamaite Democrats across the pond are speaking as if the election is already won. This blogger warns against complacency.

Not much from me today, major dental work has left me feeling uncreative and very unfunny now the cocaine has worn off.

You might like this post on vote rigging in the US Election from my friends The Chive over at Gather.com though. The Chive (like The Onion but smaller have a very whacky and surreal approach to blogging. The comment thread is good too.

TODAY WE COMMENTED ON:
Prayers for the fearful

When it is late but you are not sleepy, that is the time a television documentary about a bunch of religious nutters is very welcome.

Last night was such a time for me and luckily Channel 4 obliged with a program titled Jesus Camp.

Was Jesus camp? you might well ask. Well he did spend a lot of time with a bunch of male buddies, but that proves nothing.

Jesus Camp is a Guantanamo style institution where American parents of the fanatical tendency send their kids during school holidays. The children are indoctrinated, threatened with an eternity spent burning in hell, and for all we know waterboarded for not being able to recite The Book Of Leviticus word for word. Leviticus is all that crap about God kicking the living crap out of people who put on a woollen sweater while wearing cotton guzzies, eat shrimps or lobster, or commit The Sin Of Onan (knock one off the wrist to you and me. All these and a million other things are abominations to God and unless children are taught this they will be tempted by Satan.

Satan is everywhere according to Pastor Becky as Jesus Camp, but most of all he is in Harry Potter books.

“If Harry Potter had been in the Old Testament, he would have been put to death,” rants Becky, conveniently forgetting that Moses hit a rock with his shaft (oops, pardon,) and water gushed out, Ezekiel “connected dem dry bones” and Jesus was into tricks with water and wine, bread and sardines and raising revitalising stiffs. just think, if he had confused himself and turned the water into sardines history might have taken a different course.

Had Harry Potter been in The Old Testament he would have been put to death before he ever got his wand out to impress The Daughters of Israel. He is a gentile, a non Jews and the Jews were on a mission to prove they were God’s chosen people by killing everybody who wasn’t a Jew.

Nothing much changes in Israel.

I digress however, back to Pastor Becky and he team of fruitcakes. They were all mad as a box of frogs except for the cook, Pastor Bake. The staff of Jesus Camp were on a mission to reclaim America from Satan who has taken over and is everywhere.

Pastor Becky likes preaching to children because “they are so open and useable to Christianity.”

Now where have I heard that before? Oh yeah, St. Ignatius Loyola, founder of the Jesuits, who said “Give me the child to the age of seven etc.”

No marks for originality Pastor Becky. No marks for anything in fact, especially not science. Becky believes Satan is responsible for children being taught evolutionary science, physics, biology and liberal arts (all of which are abominations to God we assume. Yes, Satan has control of everything according to the Jesus Camp team (this may come as a surprise to Warren Buffet we think) he is even in the computers and had caused the network to crash during a previous Power Point presentation.

So Becky led the kids in a prayer asking God to protect the system.

Satan in the spreadsheets is an absolute embuggerance of course but the system crash or anything else that brought a Power Point(less) presentation to an early conclusion might be seen as proof of the infinite goodness of God by some.

Others, like myself, would simply see it as further proof of the crappiness of Microsoft software.

TODAY WE COMMENTED ON:

We Lost This Thing In February

Deliberative Democracy and the scientific method go together like chocolate and vanilla.

Preacher's Pride before fall

Teacher sacked in USA after showing class a simple conjuring trick. An article by Amanda Marcotte at Pandangon, very relevant to the article I posted today.

Jack Straw who as Home Secretary tried to push through detention without trial for terror suspects is now the Justice Secretary. Now there is an example of Orwellian newspeak if ever there was one. In his new role Mr. Straw has dismissed concerns raised by prison officers that the public are being put at risk because dangerous criminals are being moved to open prisons according to news sources.

Is this to make room for terrorist suspects? you might well ask.

Open prisons are so named because they are open; there is a noticeable lack of high walls and electrified fences behind which dangerous psychopaths out to be detained and a distinct lack of big blokes with fierce dogs to discourage said psychopaths from simply walking out through the open gate.

Prison service staff are worried that no matter how nice the government makes life inside open prisons some dangerous psychos who cannot resist the urge to menace law abiding citizens will be tempted to nip out for a shag, a few pints with their mates and to kick the living crap out of anyone who looks at them.

Over the past decade 14,000 prisoners have left open prisons without permission. When this was put to Mr. Straw he said that we have a serious overcrowding problem in high security prisons and things will not improve if prison officers insist on obstructing The Government’s efforts to improve the situation.

Spreading fear and panic among the public by talking about dangerous nutters absconding from Open Prisons is not going to help anybody.

TODAY WE COMENTED ON:
Tim Worstall asks "Who is Justine Bateman?

Crooked house

Crazy Politico

Kyle Smith Online