FROM: A. Cheever Loophole, legal affairs.
The case of America’s first serial tree-killer began when a resident of Las Vegas, decided he wanted a better view of the city’s neon-lit skyline from his observation deck. After cutting down 500 trees in breach of conservation law, Douglas Hoffman, was arrested and charged with maliciously destroying trees. A jury has just convicted the 60 year old, and when he is sentenced after Christams, he faces up to 35 years behind bars. We will bring you the news as it breaks.
The sentence seems a bit harsh for a 60 year old. If only Douglas had branched out and killed people (women specifically), then found God while on remand he could be sure a Baptist minister who hopes to run for high office would have pleaded the case for leniency.
America gets crazier all the time.
