Feeling tired, bloated and jaded after the season's celebrations? Too scared to stand on the scales and unable to manage the button at the waistband?
Then BoggartBlog's radical new 'Calorie Offsetting' is guaranteed to make you feel healthier and lighter.
'Calorie Offseting' is the all new way to lessen the guilt after the Christmas binge - and involves no hardship on your part. At BoggartBlog our dedicated team of calorie burners wil burn off your calories for you, it's simple!
No nasty diets restricting food and alcohol intake!
No expensive purchases of dire tasting milkshake which you are expected to live off for the next fortnight!
No unexpected side effects, such as arse dribble!
Simply send us your personal details; height, weight, gender, general state of health and your target weight and the scientists at BoggartBlog will work out a detailed exercise program to suit you, and then choose the perfect partner to burn off those extra calories for you!
If you want to combine your weightloss with a shopping expedition, then SezJez will trail around the regions shopping centres for you.
If you fancy getting in touch with nature, then BBC will go on a ten mile hike.
Or maybe fatsally ploughing up and down the pool at a fair chop is more your kind of thing?
However you choose to do it Boggartblog will offset your calories for you!
What could be simpler?
Simply send us your bank and/or credit card details and we will set up a payment plan to relieve you of as much as possible in the shortest time.
We will send detailed reports of your progress with 'Calorie Offsettting' and, for an extra sum, will provide computer generated images of your progress towards your target weight.
Sounds great, doesn't it?
And just remember, as with all the usual diets by this time next year you will look and weigh exactly the same as you do now, if not a little more, yet your bank account will be hundred's of pounds lighter!
Sign up today
Boggartblogs Calorie Offsetting Plan
you know it makes sense.!
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ianrthorpe
You forgot to mention that it need not cost an arm and a leg - but now Ian has found his angle grinder we can arrange for it to.