The government unveils a new scheme to reduce the number of people claiming incapacity benefit, from now on they would like doctors to write 'well notes' as oppposed to sick notes. These notes would detail what the patient was able to do in the workplace rather than absenting them from work.

So the secretary/typist/word processor operator with repetitive strain injury would be able to carry on working whilst resting those strained digits. She'd still be able to do the do-nut run, make tea if the vending machine was on the blink, talk on the telephone and share gossip around the water cooler. Indeed the employer may find that the productivity of his other, fit, workers falls as they will be distracted by Ms RST bringing them do-nuts, coffee and the latest hot gossip about Janine in accounts and that hunk of a photocopier repair man, I thought it was odd how her photocopier seemed to break so often!

The call centre operative suffering from tinnitus would be able to go along to work... but not take any phone calls.

The bus driver with the lower back pain who can't stay in a sitting position for too long... shame they don't have conductors anymore.

The teacher suffering from stress would still be allowed into school, but wouldn't be able to teach. And they're not allowed to do the classroom assistant's duties, nor clerical work in the school office... hmm caretaker's jobs?

And of course, whilst these people are still being employed to not do their jobs, somebody else will have to be drafted in to take their place.

Yeah, great idea boys, but I just don't see it working even if you can get the doctors on your side after sticking them with a large paycut and expecting them to be open all hours!