Not content, will they ever be?, with issuing guidelines on how much one ought to drink at various stages in your life, and despite the fact that it must be obvious even to the thick shits we have elected to run the country for us that nobody takes a blind drunk bit of notice so it's all a vast waste of money, time and resources, the government now plans to issue guidelines to parents on how much alcohol they may safely give their children.

This story was headlined in many articles with the announcement that(something like) 70% of parents allow their children to drink in the home and somehow making that sound like we were encouraging them to get off their faces on whisky and vodka before we'd even got them potty trained, whereas in many cases this will be our efforts to use the 'continental model' the government wants us to follow by introducing children to small amounts of alcohol from an early age, a small glass of wine with a meal for example, to allow children to develop a responsible attitude to drinking, instead of waitng for Mum and current significant other to go out for the night and then downing 24 tins of Carlsberg Special Brew mixed with last Chritmas's Advocaat and anything else they can find before spewing up copiously all over the floor, walls, furniture and cat and passing out in a state of semi undress at the top of the landing.
BoggartBlog has decided to make a stand. Your first totally rat arsed night, where you wake up and don't know who, what or where you are or how you got there is one of life's rites of passage! As is the first nausea at the mention of food, the raging thirst, the blinding headache, the mouth like the bottom of a parrot's cage and the sudden clearing of the amnesia to bring humiliation as an image of yourself in some compromising situation or position floats clearly into your consciousness, quickly followed by a groan, an anguished "Ohmygod, I didn't really stick my hand down the policeman';s trousers and ask to feel his truncheon, did I?" and the well meant but insincere promise "Never to drink again."
How can we take such character building experience away from our children. The nanny state is trying to wrap them up in cotton wool. Why, if they start drinking with our blessing at an early age then they will have built up a resistence to the effects of alcohol by the time they reach adulthood and then it will be binge drinking every night.
Keep the alcohol under lock and key. Tell them they are too young. If you smell alcohol on their breath then sit them down with a bottle of cheap whisky and encourage them to drink until they are sick, then make them clean it up. If that doesn't encourage a responsible attitude to alcohol then I don't know what will.

Note to Ian, don't worry I never molested any policemen.