The Jeremy Kyle show is the kind of television that should be avoided like the plague. This morning however I switched channels just before it ended and caught the last item. This reminded me just how perfect life could be if only there was a competent scriptwriter on hand at all times.
In the item I watched a dodgy looking guy, shaved head, white tuxedo, black shirt, bling, you know the type, was complaining to the host that his girlfriend was refusing to have another baby until he could prove that he wasn’t cheating on her. Now if you are wondering how a man with such terrible dress sense could find one woman to shag him let alone two, let me remind you it takes all kinds.

Now what was said on TV is not relevant. If I had written the script the show would have ended like this.

Jeremy asks: And what makers her think you are cheating on her.
Dodgy guy replies: Well Jeremy, the first baby wasn’t mine.

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