By the end of the Olympic Swimming events it’s a toss up whether Michael Phelps will have more gold medals than he consumes calories in an average day.

In view of the efforts of Government health advisors to persuade us to take up a more healthy diet and do more sport to reduce the impact of "the obesity timebomb" we feel it was a mistake for Phelps' trainers to reveal details of his diet.

The wonder swimmer consumes 12,000 calories a day, including large pizzas, burgers, cheese sandwiches laden with mayo, huge bowls of pasta with rich sauces, 12 egg omelettes milk shakes, energy drinks and much much more…..

You can just imagine Ma and Pa Lardarse, slobbed out on their sofa in front of the television as their jelly - like son wobbles fatly on the reinforced chair at his computer desk, saying “ Duh, no wonder our little Tommy never does anything ‘cept play computer games. Poor kid isn’t eating enough, he’s go no energy. We need to feed him more and maybe he will become an Olympic superstar.

More Olympic humour every day from Boggart Blog

NBC's Olympic Fraud Exposed
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