Happiness lessons are on the agenda for our poor, stressed out, over-examined kids.
The government is considering the implementation of a new project designed to "immunise" kids from being miserable by educating them in the art of being happy.
Well heaven help all those teenagers who enjoy wallowing in self pity and experimenting with existential angst and other hardcore substances, but that's another story.
The Penn Resilliancy Project is currently being piloted in twenty two schools around the country. The project has apparently been scientifically proven to produce positive results, whilst Permanent Secretaries from Whitehall have enjoyed jollies to Tyneside to watch lessons, the even luckier proposed teachers of the subject have been able to go to Pennsylvania to learn how to administer the programme.
However, in line with the government's policy of testing every aspect of school life there will be new tests to monitor progress in this new subject area.
As always the governments advisers have suggested a multi subject approach so that the well being lessons are integrated into other subject areas to allow children to experiene real life scenarios.
Boggartblog has managed to get hold of examples of the type of question children will be expected to answer.

Mathematics.

In a typically English summer, how may clouds have a silver lining? Explain how you came to this answer. An extra mark will be awarded for using appropriate mathematical strategies.

You are on a school trip and stop for lunch at McDonald's.
You ask for a large coke. The counter assistant gives you a half litre receptacle but only fills it to the half way mark.
a) Calculate how much coke you have received.
b) Discuss whether you ought to complain about the shortage, using mathematical examples to support your answer.
c) If you choose to complain will you say your receptacle is 'half-full' or 'half-empty'? Give reasons for your answer.

Music

Compare and contrast "I never felt more like singin' the blues" and "Always look on the bright side of life."

or

"Reasons to be Cheerful, Part Three." and "What a waste".

English

In Hamlet by William Shakespeare, the eponymous hero is a troubled character, surrounded by tragedy; his father is murdered, his mother takes up with his uncle, who is his father's murderer; Ophelia, the object of his affections,is mentally unstable and ultimately drowns; the grave of Yorick, the late court jester and a source of inspiration to the younger Hamlet, is disturbed; and Hamlet is continually tormented by the unquiet spirit of his father who seeks revenge, via his son, on his murderer.
In no more than 1,000 words give your suggestions for how Hamlet can use positive thinking to turn these unfortunate events into life enhancing experiences.

Science.
A chemical compound is formed by the combination of two or more atoms. Carbon Di-oxide is a chemical compound. In this instance a carbon atom joins with two oxygen atoms to give the gaeseous compound carbon-dioxide.
We write the chemical symbols for each atom to show the compositon of this substance like this:
C + O + O =CO2

Using the following symbols write a formula for happiness.

SE self esteem
SD self discipline
RE realistic expectations
SA sexual activity
£ money

History

In the 1800s children as young as 8 or 9 could be employed to work in mines and mills in appalling conditions.
a) Explain how this would make you feel unhappy.
b) Explain what makes you feel unhappy about your present lifestyle.

Geography

Recent research has suggested that some places are more unhappy than other places.
Edinburgh was found to be the unhappiest place in the British Isles.
Do you think this is because of:-
a) people playing the bagpipes all the bloody time
b) it being a long way from anywhere
c) it being full of bloody tourists
d) quite a lot of the shows at the Fringe not really being terribly funny
e) all of the above