If there is anybody you want to kill now is a great time. They have switched on the Large Hadron Collider and it is slowly winding up to particle smashing speed.
Anyone who thought a second after it was switched on there would be a wimpy little “pouf” noise and we would all be sucked towards a hole in Switzerland was always going to be disappointed as will be those who thought we would discover the secrets of the Universe. And the thousands who thought they had found a way to escape the debt collectors.
The thing is it was always going to take a while to wind those proton beams up to 99.999991% of the speed of light. It took 90 minutes to complete the first 27km circuit, 18kilometers per hour. They should have hired Chris Hoy to pedal the bike that powers the generator.
So anyway we have a couple of days before the end of the Universe. Perfect if you fancy walking up to your worst enemy holding an axe to say, “As we only have a couple of days before everything gets dematerialised there is something I always wanted to give you – a very deep parting.”
The downside of course is if you do kill someone, we are not in the clear yet. The chances are the world will not end so it would be wise to make sure there are no witnesses to the crime.
