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@ 2008-09-22 – 15:08:16
Every few weeks my newspaper of choice, The Guardian will give out a set of informative booklet on a variety of topics, Butterflies, Insects, History, World religions, that sort of thing.
They seem to be running short of ideas, the latest is a set on how to be a writer. The series started today by offering us avdice from Catherine Tate on how to write comedy.
Am I bovvered?
Juzzzy
ianrthorpe
I don't take a Sunday paper as part of my commitment to the environment and I haven't finished the Saturday paper by Sunday.
But I did know, hoever you have to allow Boggart Blog a little poetic licence especially when I'm recovering from an equinox gig.
I like the audacity of titling a 20 page booklet "How To Write Poetry." From Taliesin, Homer and Sappho to John Cooper Clarke in 20 pages, brilliant 
MichaelStMark
Pro Tatey is one of the slightly more original "comedians" from the penultimate crop to grace our TV screens this past year or four, but from what I've seen ( very briefly before I reach for the remote) of the brand new "comedic" troup to grace our tired eyes, they need all the help they can get in becoming, actually, funny.
In all honesty they're as embarrassing to watch trying to raise a genuine smirk as that self-important arseh**e Johnny "ranting coke head" Ross.
btw agree all the way about the Sunday supp's, Ian - a complete waste of jolly good rainforest.
ianrthorpe
Mike,
I read someone going on about Russell Brand and how he's funny because his act is "so excruciatingly painful."
These people don't understand the difference between self mockery and self hatred.
I remember going to a Steve Coogan gig in his Paul Calf period. The only thing about it that was painful was the belly ache you got from laughing.
But perhaps the fad for self hate comedy is something to do with this insane world we live in.
MichaelStMark
Pro Yeah, PauLINE Calf did it for me, as it were, Ian.
The sketch where the porn video starlet was introduced to a vicar at a wedding, who said " I'm sure I've seen you somewhere before "..... or Pauline's " Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me" etc etc.
Carson was only half right... it's the way you write em' as well.
How TF does this current crop of " as funny as a fire in an orphanage" ( Bernard Manning) deadbeats get a break on television? They must be shagging some decrepit old media baron is all I can imagine.
ianrthorpe
The same way as Barry Soetoro / Barak Obama got a crack at the US Presidency more or less.
The current comedy pretenders went to Uni with the children of the BBC mafia and Barry snorted coke with the Chicago mafia (allegedly).
Bad TV comedy does improve our lives a little, it makes us read books, listen to music or go to the pub and talk to real people.
Barry is a lot more harmful as his candiacy virtually handed the White House to the Republicans for four more years.
rithompson
It actually started on Saturday with the brilliant "How to write a novel". 
MichaelStMark
Pro ... it should have read " How to get your novel published in one - become a publishing house arse pan.
Sorry if that offends, Ros'.
But truth hurts.
ianrthorpe
Yeah Mike, some of the novels I've bought (actually paid for) by promising young writersrecently have driven me back to Steinbeck, Bellow, Vonnegut etc. before I got to page 50.
On the other hand I have reviewed novels for people who self published because the trade would not look at them have been reasonable reads.
Tht's why I'm working hard to get together my site aimed at promoting self publishers and letting people earn a few pennies from online writing. I keep getting close then Google move not so much the goal posts as the entire effing stadium.
rithompson
What makes you think I'd be offended! 
ianrthorpe
Shit, I got my pasper on Saturday but no booklet. Not that it would have helped, I alrady know how to write novels and am perfectly willing to shag a literary agent. Unfortunately all those I've met are male or minging.
MichaelStMark
Pro Try submitting ms's of deliberately inane and tawdry crap Ian. I'm sure that would help.
( Ex Lord Jeff' " prostitute hunter" Archer the perfect model in that regard. )
ianrthorpe
Formulaic dross has always done for pulp novels. Makes money though.
What I object to is literary fiction dross which is just as formulaic and badly written (kudos to Roddy Doyle for saying James Joyce is shite a couple of years ago) and is also pretentious.
Apparently the fashion in literary fiction is that the book has to explore the psychology of the writer's relationship with the characters.
He/she made them up, that's the relationship, there's no psychology in it.
MichaelStMark
Pro Seems also part of the "winning" formula is to incorporate some far-flung ( African or Asian rates well) culture into the plot - a storyline set purely in familiar late 20th C. English "culture" seems to be regarded as almost racist these days by the likes of Random House etc.
btw Ian. Got the front page " Milliband /Frank Spencer" Times pic I think SallyOT was referring to - will try posting it 2morrow via Cheeky Stoat.
ianrthorpe
Its like the complaint that there are not enough ethnic minorities on in Emmerdale. Nobody mentions how over represented ethnic minorities are in children's TV or as newsreaders.
How about ethnic quotas on Premiership footballers?
MichaelStMark
Pro Lol. The sheer blinkered madness of the PC brigade knows no bounds, Ian.
I was kept languishing in a slum deemed "unfit for human habitation" on Camden Council's housing waiting list for nearly 20 years, on the basis of positive discrimination in favor of immigrants fresh off a plane from Nigeria with the obligatory slave wife & three kids.
When I mentioned " vociferous minorities" getting rehoused above resident UK citizens, I was directly accused of being racist by some PC drone in their plush Marylebone Rd offices.
And I'm supposed to button my lips after that.
F**k off!
ianrthorpe
Don't you mean three slave wives and herd of kids.
My daughter worked for a charity in an officw where a Nigerian "chief" worked. He thought he had the right to "command" any of his felale colleagues and that white women were prostitutes because they showed their legs and hair.
Can you imagine how long a white guy who behaved like that would last.
Equality means everybody getting the same treatment.
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Actually, Mr Boggart,
It started yesterday,
In the folds of The Observer,
"How to write poetr(a)y."