Most interesting speech of the Labour Conference was made by Minister for Community Affairs and Smurfing, Hazel Blears. The motorbike riding MP is campaigning to restore our right to spend a penny. This is not some anti - inflation initiative but a plan to rebuild and reopen public toilets.
The public lav used to be an integral part of community life, providing a venue for drug dealing and community poetry workshops and a meeting place for gay men.
Alas during Margaret Thatcher's war on society the public lav all but disappeared as councils were forced to sell the buildings, often fine examples of baroque or Victorian Gothic archetechture, to property developers who could squeeze a block of twelve bijou apartments onto land formerly occupied by the typical municipal shithouse.

Ms Bleas is not intending to stop at lavs though, she plans to launch a new hi-tech system available to work with mobile phone, blackberry and sat nav technology to help find a bog when people are taken short. Lav Nav will cover all cities and large towns and be available next year.

George Michael has advance ordered the first unit.

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