In the wake of last year’s ban on smoking in public places it was only a matter of time until technology firms launched a virtual cigarette. Well the cyberciggies are now on the market and close behind them are the control freaks of the Politically Correct Police intent on abolishing anything that might seem like fun.

The electronic cigarettes sell at around £40 and deliver nicotine hits in a mist of vapour. Because they fall outside the legislation as they are not actually burning they can be smoked indoors.

Enter the Politically Correct Police. Despite the fact no smoke is involved and it is the smoke (allegedly) that does the damage, the Politically Correct Police see a danger that people might actually be spending time having fun when it could be put to better use (reading “improving” literature for example.

“We don’t know enough about this product yet, it has not been tested rigorously enough to ensure people are not deriving dangerously high levels of pleasure from using it,” said Action On Smoking Health spokesperson Deborah Arnott (as in freedoms Arnott for the likes of you.)

“This product needs to be subjected to clinical trials and toxin analysis to make sure users are not ingesting dangerous levels of toxin,” said Douglas Bettcher (as in Bettcher we can get them banned by Christmas.) Two words Douglas: Turkey fucking twizzlers.

We would like to remind readers Boggart Blog is a responsible News Blog. We include the views of these people in the interests of balanced reporting, we would of course never stoop so low as to mention people just so we could make cheap jokes of their names.

Jason Cropper of The Electronic Cigarette Company defended the product, claiming it is a healthier way of smoking.

Boggart Blog has no problem endorsing the Electronic Cigarette, we support anything that irritates the joyless busybodies who want to tell us how to live our lives.

We suggest the following modification though. A software patch should be installed so that when the cyberciggy is activated in a public place a message is displayed “ ERROR: this cigarette is trying to perform an illegal action and needs to be shut down.”

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