“Gordon is a moron, Gordon is a moron” went the refrain of a 1970s song we all loved. Now we must wonder is it coincidence or was Jilted John aka John Shuttleworth aka Graham Fellows truly prescient as the evidence for our Prime Minister’s moronism mounts day by day.
In a week when news of disastrous unemployment rates among graduates leaving higher education shocked us and new predictions on the increasing number of pensioners the taxpayer will have to support after the credit cock up allowed a bunch of Merchant Bankers to steal the private pension funds we were forced to pay into, Gordon announced his latest wheeze to mask the impending return to 1980s levels of youth unemployment from voters by spending Ј140million on creating apprenticeship schemes.
Ooh good, you might well exclaim, apprentices. Good old fashioned on – the – job training to lead people to careers as plumbers, brickies, electricians, engineering tradesmen, mechanics and a thousand and one other trades which are now open to girls as well as boys. The kind of jobs that gave people the self esteem and security to take their place in society instead of whiling away their lives as burger flippers while people having booked a plumber wondered in what sense the guy with the beetroot - stained moustache who knocked on the door intended to “see to your pipes” and whether a porn film crew were lurking at the end of the drive.
Well don’t build your hopes up. Gordon is a moron remember and it turns out his apprentice scheme is very similar to the new workplace related NVQ further education qualifications he announced about a year ago which would enable people to go to a McCollege and get a qualification to equal A level GCSE in burger flipping.
Yes thanks to Gordon and NuLab’s initiative school leavers will be able to become McPrentices and learn the skills of burger flipping while earning a wage.
A spokesman for McDonald’s said the company had no problem with the apprenticeships being referred to as McJobs so long as that did not imply low paid, low dignity work with no future prospects. Yeah right.
So this is what the Prime Minister’s economic stimulus is about.
EXITS SINGING : Gordon is a moron, Gordon is a moron.
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And while I am willing to defend the young I am not going to let some smartarse Guardian journo who is hardly out of short pants start slagging off Joan Bakewell.