Many leading headlines or top stories in the national news have shown Gordon Brown as increasingly pathetic in his attempts to cling to Barack Obama’s coat tails; there was the call for a cap on banker’s bonuses, empty bluster about shutting down tax havens (like the super rich who funded Obama’s campaign and bought the loyalty of the Labour Party will ever allow that) and the promises to restart their two nations’ economies by creating millions of public sector jobs.

It is all becoming rather demeaning for us, we look as if we cannot find a leader capable of thinking for himself. Fortunately Boggart Blog, ever at the bleeding edge of political thinking, has found one area in which America is following us.

Both Obama and Brown have spoken of the possibility of creating jobs by initiating a massive Information Technology project to but all Health Records in a massive database so lots more people can see details of our minor ailments, embarrassing diseases and all the times we were off sick when a major televised sporting event was on..

It would be a great idea to have patient records on a database distributed across networked computer and thus available to any healthcare professionals who need to see them but let’s face it, the scheme is just not going to work. Does anyone really think it will be long before even the dullards and fuckwits who run government departments discover the money making potential of such a Database? Imagine getting spammed with ads like this.

“Hi Citizen Smith, we learned you recently had to visit your family doctor because of a slightly embarrassing problem in the rectal area. It can be expensive and inconvenient to have to take time off work just to get some cream for your haemmorroids but don’t worry, help is at hand. New Arsoothe cream from BIZZO phamaceuticals will ease that embarrassing itch and reduce swelling. Yes, after a few days treatment with BIZZO Arsoothe you will be able to sit on a hard chair again. BIZZO arsoothe is the answer to your pain in the arse."

The first thing to take into account is the track record of governments in planning and managing massive computer projects. It’s abysmal. National Health Service computerisation has been talked about for over a decade, £££millions has been spent on feasibility studies, focus groups, consultative committees and all the other carriages needed to make up a bureaucratic gravy train but so far nothing at all has been done. Not one record has been put on the Great Database. If it does ever get off the ground it will be the biggest computerisation project and thus the biggest failure ever. And a similar project in America would be five times bigger.

When we think in terms of the monumental cock ups achieved by government project teams in relatively small, manageable projects like; Automation of the passport office system ; Tax credits; school examination marking and results management; the potential for the system to be turned into a fiery pit into which two bodybuilders in fetish harness and gimp masks perpetually shovel money are almost infinite.

Both Gordon Brown, who is a proven imbecile, and Obama, whose fiscal ineptitude reveals he has the economic nous of a five year old let loose in a toy shop with a “no limit” credit card, a man so devoid of economic nous he makes imbeciles look smart, are simply pulling the old political trick of jumping up and down, making a lot of noise in the hope people will think they are actually doing something.

This tactic can be deployed by politicians in the face of any crisis. In this case it is in the hope that the voters will think there is some chance of turning back the tide of recession with gesture politics and rather banal rhetoric.

If either politician was serious about getting health records on line they would adopt the approach used so successfully by the British Government in getting military and police personnel records, driver licence details, political party membership lists and personal tax and income details online. It works like this.

Back up the data to a few CDs or DVDs.
Arrange for a junior employee to leave them lying around in a public place.
Sit back and wait. In a few days everybody’s sensitive data including details of embarrassing diseases will be available for the world to see on Facebook.

More on NHSD case of creeping bureaucract at Suit You Nurse