Childrens' Science Exam.

Gordon's Bright Ideas No. 5,137
Isn't it wonderful how Gordon the Terrible can keep coming up with these bright ideas to save, well, everybody and everything?

Today he announces fast track teacher training to encourage and enable those former city high flyers to enter education, t...

The Long And Winding Road That Leads To PhD
We have often reported on the wonders of New Labour education policy with it’s worthwhile and meaningful targets like “There shall be a University on every street corner” or “Every child shall pass a million examinations,” or “A degree is not just for ...

£3,000 per term Private School Abandons GCSE - Only for thickos says head..
The highly regarded and comfortingly expensive Manchester Grammar School shocked the education establishment today when the head announced the school would no longer be offering it’s pupils the opportunity to sit GCSE examinations approved by the gover...

Intellectually Bankrupt
While the government touts higher education as the panacea for all social ills (and a great way of keeping around half a million or so young people off the claimant register for at least three years we learn that as the recession bites many Universitie...

The Pupils Are Taking Over The School
News reached us today of a Department of Education, Culture and Silly Walks scheme to deal with the growing shortage of teachers. More and more qualified teachers are leaving the profession in protest at ever increasing levels of bureaucracy, the restr...

A Rounded Education
A new school is being built in Abergwnfi with circular classrooms. Teachers will stand in the middle with the children positioned around them, whilst a projector bounces words and pictures onto the walls.
A Neath Port Talbot council spokesman hailed t...

Miscreants and Bankers
The only Professor of Risk, not quite his full title but you get the gist, in the entire country has demanded that schoolchildren are taught about probability so that they can assess the risk element in all manner of things.

He claims that in order...

A Place Of Learning
A headteacher from Sheffield has decided that children are intimidated by the word school and so henceforth his establishment, formerly known as a primary school will now be known as "a place of learning".

Before he disappears up his own arse I feel...

White Boys On Free Meals Fall Behind In School.
An alarming statistic published by the Department of Education and Science yesterday shows that working class white boys who get free school meals are falling catastrophically behind their classmates in GCSE results.

“It is a very worrying trend,” s...

Minister, Leave The Curriculum Alone!
I tried to resist but I couldn't. The newspapers have been full-ish of news about proposals for the new primary curriculum.

Out go History, Geography and RE and in come 6 subject areas to promote "an understanding" of several subjects all rolled int...

The Dog Weed On The Computer.
The other day I was saying to Ian about the hazzards of Tom cats on draft pieces of work, they tend to come into the room, jump up onto my lap and then proceed onto the keyboard causing havoc on the way and occasionally deleting uncompleted posts. Heav...

The Pursuit Of Happiness
Happiness lessons are on the agenda for our poor, stressed out, over-examined kids.
The government is considering the implementation of a new project designed to "immunise" kids from being miserable by educating them in the art of being happy.
Well h...

Whose the Father, Alfie or Damien?
Well aren't the Screaming Redtops having a field-day with the story of 'little' Alfie Patten who has allegedly fathered a child with his 15 year old girlfriend, despite the fact that he is only four foot tall, looks about eight years old, his voice has...

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Out Again.....
You know those families that ruin your trip to the pub/restaurant/cinema?
The ones whose kids are always EXCEPTIONALLY LOUD and whose parents look at you as if a) seeking your approval for their superlative parenting skills or b) expecting you to join...

Wean Them On Whiskey
Not content, will they ever be?, with issuing guidelines on how much one ought to drink at various stages in your life, and despite the fact that it must be obvious even to the thick shits we have elected to run the country for us that nobody takes a b...

News From The Girls School
A rather unsurprising admission from The Department of Education, Science and Silly Walks informs us that in the secondary school phase of education, which children embark on around the same time as they sprout hairs in funny places and drown in unfami...