I know they sound like a legal practice in Barnoldswick but Conservative leaders David Cameron, the Liberal Democrats Nick “Shagger” Clegg and Joanna (Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous) Lumley, still looking absolutely fabulous at sixty something, have been collaboration to embarrass Gordon Brown.
Shifty Gordon had tried to shaft the Gurkas, those Nepalese regiments that for historic reasons are part of the British Army. The Gurkas have been asking quite politely for the right to settle in Britain after serving the nation for twenty years in some of the worlds most violent and dangerous places. Not an unreasonable expectation you might think, there are not that many of them and they do put their arses on the line in our cause.
Well Gordon had promise them allsorts to shut them up because he didn’t want a fuss at the G20 what with Barack Obama doing his politically correct messiah schtick and all. When it came to deliver however Gordon and his gang tried to work a flanker and divert some of the cash that should have been going to fund Gurka retirement packages towards underwriting the clock in and clear off allowance for Labour MPs who live too close to London to qualify for second home expenses or who do not have a sister with a spare bedroom living in the capital.
It was a nasty, small minded, mean spirited trick typical of “The Peoples’ Party. They would have got away with it too but for that pesky actress. Joanna Lumley when not swigging Bollinger as Patsy has been an advocate of the Gurkas cause for years. And a formidable advocate she turned out to be too.
First Ms Lumley persuaded the Lib Dems to take up the case and then when the Liberals had routed Labour in debate and with enough Labour MPs promising to oppose Brown’s bill or abstain the chance of defeating Labour in a commons vote saw Conservatives offering their support too. The vote was duly won, Gordon Brown was embarrassed, Labour were dismayed and Cameron Clegg and Lumley were filmed skipping over Westminster Bridge as if it was The Yellow Brick Road.
Clearly Cameron was just jumping on the Lib Dems bandwagon but what matter. Shagger Clegg had probably only supported the cause in the hope of jumping on Joanna Lumley. But what matter, they got a result. The Gurkas will be much more welcome than another batch of Kosovar sex slave traffickers.
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