Cleo Hart tells us of the wallabies high on opium, but what are the suirrels doing these days?
I don't know if anyone else has noticed but they do seem to be falling out of their trees onto busy roads rather a lot lately.
There were at least six on a two mile stretch of the A628 this morning. And they didn't appear to be squashed.
I suppose there could be some vigilantes cruising up and down the road, armed with air rifles taking pot-shots at the little buggers, but I don't really think that's the case.
Or perhaps the squirrels that don't make the leap from the trees on one side to the trees on the other are inferior in some way.
Seconds squirrels.
Myopic, dodgy knees, clawless.
A demonstration of Darwinism at work.
On the other hand, it's not that long ago that some walkers noticed a bit of a funny whiff in the air as they walked down a lane from the main road.
Police were called in and they found a substantial mound of marijuana plants dumped in a field...

"Wagwan! Rusty, how you goin'?"

"Hey Tufty, look what I've found.
A whole load of shit, man!
Give me a hand and we'll drag a couple of these plants back to the tree.
Wow, we is going to have us a good time!
Man!"

"Wow, like, crazy, man.
We gonna dry it or are we jus' gonna chew it?
It sure do smell good."

"Well I think we ought to test it out y'know.
Make sure it's okay.
Then we can sell it on to the brothers at, like, a few acorns a gram.
Hee hee, we is gonna be two rich squirrels."

Later....

"Oh, man, Tuft, this is just soooo gooood."

"Too right,Rustman, this stuff gives you wings.."

"Hey yeah, just like those flyin' squirrels man..."

"Yeah, flying squirrels.... I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky..."

"Yo, man, I'm flyin... hey look at me fly... I'm flyinnnnnn..."
Thwack.

"Aw shit man, it look like you come down to earth with a bump. Watch meeee..."
Thwack.

Later still.

"Shame old Tuft and Rusty bought it. Funny how they both fell out of a tree.
Still best get on and clean out their nest.
Hmmm, wonder what this is, smells a bit funny.
Maybe it's one of those exotic herbs, they were into all that stuff, liked to spice up the acorn cutlet.
I'll just take some home and try it out, maybe put some on those old horse chestnuts..."

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