The news this morning was full of a story about scientists at Newcastle University having made human sperm in the laboratory.

Now with so much organically grown sperm available all around the world you might well ask why in hell anyone in their right mind would want to create sperm in a laboratory when they can just have a wank.

We are dealing with scientists here though and there are seldom any rational explanations for why scientists do the things they do. And its no good asking. If you were to ask one of the scientists "why do you want to create sperm in the laboratory" they would look at you pityingly and say "you just don't understand scioence."

Not understanding science seems a good place to be however. While all the science heads were leaping up and down and yelling "Whoopeeeee, we've created sperm" and busily splashing it all over the front page of the Guardian (the news, not the erm...) people who spend most of their lives looking through at real, non - scientific, normally ejaculated sperms had looked through their computer monitors at the video the Newcastle team had posted on You Tube and said, "Hold on, these aren't sperm, they look a bit like sperm but they don't move like sperm, they don't think like sperm and they can't answer three simple questions any elf respecting sperm would know the answer to.

So it turns out the scientists have not created sperm at all, they just exaggerated their results and ended up with egg on their faces. Which is nice.

related posts:
Human Sperm Stem Cells
Scientists Announce Another Breakthrough In Hogwash

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