It had to happen. Ubermentalist Heather Mills has managed to put herself back in the public eye. This time instead of slagging off Paul McCartney, waving her leg about or talking about milking rats to feed the world's poor she is hanging onto the shirt tail of former US Vice President Al Gore was he wages his war on carbon emissions from his floodlit mansion in Tennessee, his private plane or one of his gas guzzling Limos.
It would be petty and mean spirited of us to mention that Gore is a billionaire and over sixty just as Paul McCartney was a billionaire aged over sixty when Heather Mills caught his attention by involving herself in one of his favourite charities so we won’t mention it.
It would also be petty and mean spirited to mention that Al Gore’s wife, the oddly named Tipper, is also well past the first flush of middle age and her looks are fading. OMG, if Al is seduced by the Geordie Gold digger and divorces his wife will she be Tipp-ex.
I digress. In support of Mr. Gore’s efforts to stop us destroying our planet by burning the carbon that by right of wealth is his to burn, Heather Mills this week popped up on a daytime TV show promising to show us how to make a really tasty meatless chicken curry. It sounds more appetising than rat’s milk yoghurt but only marginally.
In order to help Al stop us all polluting so he does not have to downsize his lifestyle, Heather is on a mission to turn us all into vegans.
Meat, she babbled as she mixed and sprinkled, is the second largest cause of global warming. So let’s see, that would be second after electricity production, petrochem, domestic heating, transport, deforestation, construction and politicians windbaggery. I guess arithmetic, like sanity, was never Heather’s strongest point. But who need maths when you have big tits.
So on went the demonstration and Heather’s running commentary on the joys of meatless chicken curry. I don’t know whether the presenters were too polite or too busy suppressing their giggles to point out that if it ain’t got chicken meat in it, it ain’t chicken curry.