Last night saw the return of the “iconic” (according to the Radio Times) character Charity to the Emmerdale district of Soapland.
Charity, played by gorgeous Emma Atkins, has never had any luck with men. In the first scene of her return after a four year absence she is standing at a Church altar wearing a virginal white wedding dress. For those unfamiliar with the character of Charity, she had a baby when she was only thirteen and then became a teenage prostitute. Where was I. Oh Yes, so Charity is standing at the altar wearing virgin’s white and is about to marry the third millionaire hubby of her fictional life. As the character only came into the show in 2001 fair play to her, she is a faster worker that Elizabeth Taylor, Sadie Frost or Liz Hurley.
Just as the vicar starts to say “Dearly beloved…” who should burst in but Charity’s daughter Debbie from all those years ago, now an attractive twenty – year old woman herself.
“Mum, why are you marrying the bloke I’ve been boffing these past few weeks,” Debbie asks not unreasonably.
Dangerously blonde Emma Atkins, can do vulnerable but defiant par excellence. Now she has to throw in simultaneous anger, confusion and self pity. She plays a blinder.
In opposition to this all the BBC could offer by way of a dangerous blonde was Boris Johnson making a guest appearance in East Enders. Boris managed to shamble to the bar of the Queen Vic and order a pint of Chateau Petrus without falling over. he then disappeared in the wink of any eye. No doubt he will turn up in twenty years like Dirty Den did.
Pity Bozza is gone really. East Enders could use a bit of comic relief.
So Charity versus Boris, who will win top place in the public’s affections? Study the two pictures below then answer the question appropriate to your gender.
Charity Boris
MEN: Which of these blondes would you rather have a dinner date with?
WOMEN: Which of these soap stars would you rather look like?
OK, well the winner was not hard to anticipate.
Now a question for everybody, who would make the better Mayor of London, Boris or Charity.
Ah…… well sorry Boris. You can always audition for a regular part in East Enders.
You're a pop-culture chomping twerp. Why bother spouting out this pointless tripe? Having reached middle-age, are you proud that this is the kind of inane, plebian drivel that you see fit to share with the internet? Mind you, I wasted two precious minutes reading it, didn't I. What was I thinking.