Strictly Come Race Baiting
from a Special Correspondent

So there is this utterly fit non European female named Lalia Rouass who has not been getting much in the way of work offers since Primeval was trashed. To keep the wolf from the door and be seen on television she takes a job in a celebrity “reality” show about ballroom dancing.

Everything seems to be going nicely ‘til the silly tart decides to have a spray tan which is a tad superfluous as her parents are from India and Morocco. Now it is not just me who thinks the spray tan is a bit OTT, one day when she turns up for a practice session her professional coach / dancing partner says “shag me, you look like a Paki.”

It does not say a lot for the intelligence of said dancing partner that he has not worked out from her dark skin, blue / black hair and funny name that the lady’s family did not arrive on the shores of this septic isle with William The Conqueror. Maybe the guy did not notice those details. Maybe he notices little about women, after all he is a professional dancer. If you know what I mean.

A small local fuss about the use of the P word and racism. As soon as the R word was mentioned the minor upset rapidly escalated into a major row. Everyone was sticking their two pen'orth in. Bruce Forsyth, that venerable showbiz veteran who first appeared on TV in 1906 and is still telling the same jokes said there is nothing offensive in a word and recalled that when he was a lad Homo Sapiens used to call Neanderthals “hairy flat headed bastards” and nobody minded.

An Asian feminist lawyer retorted that when she hears the word Paki used it feels like a whiplash on her skin. Unfortunately the presenter interviewing her did not have the presence of mind to question that and say if she wanted to know what a whiplash on her skin really felt like she should go to Sudan walk down a street in the trouser suit and scoop neck top she was wearing.

Jermemy Clarkson said the BBC is run by Black Irish one legged dwarf lesbian single parents. He was not commenting on Strictly Come Dancing, he just said it.

In all the fuss everybody seemed to forget the economy is going down the pan, our boys are getting killed in Afghanistan every day, unemployment is heading way over three million, the pound is sinking like the Titanic and the Chinese are taking over the world. So somebody said a bad word; big deal nobody died, nobody got hurt.

It seems we have lost sight of our true priorities.

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