Gordon Brown has been using the tactics of government by fear and panic to try to swing public opinion behind the treaty he will propose at the big expensive jolly for world leaders in a foreign city >:XX sorry, I mean climate summit in Copenhagen. At this jolly old booze up the great and good will get together and decide how to save the planet from the threat posed by global warming.

We do not know what proposals Gordon’s agenda will put forward but you can bet it will not include a pledge by world leaders to desist from flying off round the world to attend jollies every few weeks.

A speech Mr. Brown gave over the weekend might give us a few clues though. He told his audience if the world does not back the Copenhagen Treaty millions of people will die as governments shoot dissenters :> or from flood, famine, plague, killer heatwaves, drought, late pizza deliveries as all sorts of catastrophes take their toll. Nobody will be immune, even politicians will be likely to choke to death when saying “anthropogenic” instead of “man made”.

Boggart Blog wants to ask you Mr. Brown, these natural disasters – will they be in any way similar to the Swine Flu pandemic that was going to have wiped out 450% of the human population by now unless we all trooped off to get our vaccine shot? Or has the pandemic put itself on hold because the vaccine was not ready in time? Or is it like the Bird Flu epidemic a few years ago that was going to wipe us out and in the end here in Britain killed one rather elderly sea bird?

And what about the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s. Remember back they were telling us the virus would be carried in air by 1990 and we would be able to catch HIV just by looking at a bare naked lady or even a lady in her underwear unless we wore a decontamination suit? Will your predicted catastrophes of your be like any of those Mr. Brown?

And what about the killer heatwaves? Will they be like the Barbecue Summer we were promised this year, or the Barbecue Autumn we were supposed to get last week? I sat in the garden every day with my sausages and burgers and a cool box full of tinnies, I wore my hat with corks round the brim and I froze my bollocks off.

The trouble with trying to control people through fear and panic you see Gordon is it will work very well once, not quite so well the next time and the third time will just attract scepticism. Your government, Gordon, tries the fear and panic stratagem about three times a week. It is any wonder nobody ever believes a word you say.