Faced with the prospect of watching the X Factor and I'm a Celebrity this weekend after an excruciating night of Pudsey Bear nonsense we were scouring the web for entertainment when we stumbled across this story.

Christmas will not be Christmas in Dundee this year. All references to the religious holiday have been dropped from the switching-on ceremony for the city’s festive lights. Instead of the traditional Christmas Lights switch-on, residents will be attending the “Dundee Winter Light Night”. Council officials have also decided that rather than a retelling of the Nativity story there will be a disco, a contemporary circus, a continental market and a 7ft fairy on stilts.

Disgruntled members of the Presbytery of Dundee have voted to voice concern to the city council, saying that the religious aspect of Christmas was being eroded. One churchgoer, Philip Harris, from Broughty Ferry, said: “It seems ludicrous to have a Christmas event which makes no mention of Christmas. It just seems like the usual political correctness. “Hopefully the council will reconsider.”

At last year’s Christmas Lights switch-on in the City Square, the Rev Allan Webster was invited to address the crowd — a tradition that, along with the title of Christmas Lights, he feels should be upheld.
Mr Webster has already offered his services to the council for this year’s event on November 27.

“I have asked if there will still be a role to play for the Church and I would be delighted to take up any offer, if asked,” he said. “The general feeling is that calling it the Winter Light Night rather than the Christmas Lights is an erosion of a religious festival. It is important for all faiths to be able to celebrate their festivals and I must stress I would also be concerned if people of any other religion had their festival diluted.”

A spokesman for Dundee City Council said: “When we are contacted by Dundee Presbytery we will look at the points they are raising and respond to them.”

Karen Scrimgeour, who will take on the role of Christmas — or possibly Winter Light — Fairy and will wear stilts that will boost her height to 7ft 6in, said: “It’s a bit of a power trip being this tall as I’m normally only 5ft 2in. I’m very excited about being the Christmas Fairy this year. I can’t wait to see all the kids’ faces light up.”

Political correctness gone mad or a progressive approach to celebrating diversity, decide for yourselves. We wondered what Dundee's most famous son, a man who certainly has The X Factor, the bard Of Auld Dundee himself would have had to say about all this. William McGonagall was the worst poet ever published in the English language, for him so long as the lines more or less rhymed he did not bother about rhythm, scan, line length or wether it made any sense.

Here from beyong the grave and exclusive to Boggart Blog, thanks to the good offices of Jenny Greenteeth, are the lines penned by the great McGonagall on this example of bureaucractic dictatorship.

The Winter Lights Of Dundee

Ooooh
Twas in the beauteous town of Dundee
fair city beside the silvr’y Tay
That the great and good and mighty
lost the plot this year over Christmas Day.

For the Health and Safety Committee
Announced something that made Dundonians very sad.
And all the people of old Dundee agreed
This is Political Corretness gone mad.

And so this Christmas season
upon the pagan solstice will begin.
There will be no singing nor dancing (because of Health and Safety issues)
And there’ll be no wine or Whisky or Gin.

The Festival will have to be be renamed
no longer Christmas but Winter Light Night
And the Christmas Tree in the town square
(Kindly supplied by Messrs Salmon & Co.) will indeed be a sorry sight

And as the season progresses
and the miseltoe and holly wilts
the Winter Tree lights will be switched on
by a seven foot tall fairy on stilts.

And nobody shall mention Christmas
The Wise men or the nativity
There'll be no Yule log nor Christmas pudding
to be found anywhere in Dundee.

Tis the politically correct Christmas
full of non denominational cheer
And we’ll welcome Hindus, Muslims, Rastafarians, Buddhists
Jews and all to celebrate a politically correct New Year.

Confirm that Boggart Blog's new poem from McGonagall 100 years after his death is authentically the work of the great man by comparing the style and quality with his published works.
McGonagall Online