When Barack Hussein Obama was elected to the Presidency the first thing he did after capering around jazz handing and singing "Oh Dem Golden Slippers," and "De Camptown Races" was to embark on a programme of stimulus spending which he said would kick start the American economy. He would do this, his aides promised, by investing in "shovel ready projects" (i.e. hiring guys with ripped, oiled bodies. dressing them in fetish harness and gimp masks and having them shovel money into a bottomless pit) and in the green economy. This, as American taxpayers now know, involved giving away lots of their hard earned to his old friends and contacts and the most generous campaign donors.

Some of his "old friends" however have turned out to be rather dubious characters however, there is Tony Rezko, a Chicago "businessman" whose colleagues all seem to wear Fedoras,and who is about to be jailed for irregularities in the way he ran his "olive oil business", Rod Blagojevitch who as state governor of Illinois openly invited bids for the senate seat vacated by Obama when he assumed the Presidency and who has since been found guilty on seventeen charges of corruption.

Then there is William Cellini whose trial on corruption charges keeps getting delayed because his legal team object to any jurors who don't have criminal records which means in US law the only people who will be allowed to serve on the jury in the Cellini trial are not elegible for jury service.

And there are so many more, too many to list individually. But not all Obama's friends and associates are corupt politicians. Some are lofty idealists who have devoted their lives to research on topics like "does skunk really rot your brain."

The question is, are such associates always fit and proper people to receive government investment in the form of loan guarantees?

A company set up with $500 million of Obama's stimulus money to make and sell solar panels that would generate electricity from sunshine and feed it into the national grid declared itself bankrupt in September and in the wake of that, a scandal is brewing with allegations of cronyism, corruption and financial irresponsibility flying round Washington and sticking like shit to anyone they come in contact with. The Solyndra scandal and the bankruptcy of other "green economy" ventures carries echoes of the dotcom boom in which businesses reliant on an unproven technology were set up with vast cash investments though they had no saleable product, no designs, no realistic patents, no revenue stream and no business plan. In many cases these companies did not even have an idea, just an idea that if they could come up with an idea it would be cool to raise some investment funds and go into business.

Solyndra went bust having lost all of the tax payers hard earned by borrowing up to its credit limit and spending the money on researching luxury offices with en suite Jacuzzis, cocaine parties, expensive sports cars, expensive champagne and even more expensive women. Unfortunately the details of their downfall are sub judice.

Boggart Blog however managed to get a transcript of the inaugural meeting of another greenbubble startup, CaliforniaSunshine Corp:

The directors designate are gathering in their boardroom, the basement of an abandoned building waiting for the last of their number, Jughead, who arrives noisily after falling down the stairs.

Hey Jughead, dude, hows it going?

Cool.

Me and the guys, dude, we were just talking about getting in on this green energy thing and, like, getting some stimulus money.

Cool.

We thought solar panels was good, I mean how hard can it be? Sheet of glass, some of those little buttony things, wire and plastic frames. It's a cinch.

Cool.

So we thought seeing you, dude, met the Prez one you could, like, call him up.

Cool.

(dip dippydip dip dipittydip dip dip dipidip ... ring-ring ring-ring ring-ring ...)

Hey yeah, it that The White House ... cool, is The Big Dude there ... a name? Barry O, the candyman, ... yeah I guess that would be President Obama, tell im it's Jughead from L.A. ... cool.

(In a whisper) They just gonna find him guys.

Hey, hi Prez dude, it's Jughead. The thing is Barry me and some of my buddies were talking 'bout setting up a green energy company and we were, like, wondering if you could help out with investment, what with you being into green stimulus and all. ... yeah, Jughead ... yeah you do know me ... sure you do, we met in a toilet in MacArthur Park, I get you snort a line of coke off my ... yeah, back in the closet now, OK, I unnastand. Anyway like I said, me and my buddies need some investment to get our solar panels factory up and running and my ol' buddy Barry was the first person I thought of ... Yeah, MacArthur Park ... yeah right off of it ... how much? Well how much you off'rin' ...Two hunnert and fifty million dollars, wow, cool, hey that's ..What? .... just a moment Barry, Mr. President, my budd ... partners need to speak to me.

"Never accept the first offer Jughead, first rule of dealing - and business; go for more, go for double,"
For fuck's sake guys, two hunnert and fifty million is more'n we'll ever make.
Yeah but if he offered two fifty mill for starters he's prepared to go higher. Go for double
Double, that's like ... er ...
"Half a billion Jughead, tell him it's going to take half a billion to get up and running.

Hi Mr. Prez Barry dude, yeah, our accountant says it will take half a billion, 500 million. You're our only hope of gettin' that kind of cash Barry, if you can't stretch to that I guess I'll have to write a book about my life or somp'n ... Yeah, the toilet in Macarthur Park ... yeah that was the date ... you will! Wow cool. all of it! Wow cool. Details? Yeah, I'll hand you to my buddy, he has a PayPal account.

Well, those of you who feel shocked and betrayed at the way the Obama Presidency has turned out don't get any sympathy from The Daily Stirrer. We did warn you of what would happen if you voted for him.

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