It isn't because the current series of The Apprentice has failed to produce any prize dickheads of the calibre of 'Exactly what it says on the box' Jim, the imbecilic One-Trick-Pony Baggs the Brand or the nice Jewish boy who didn't know the diffrence between halal and kosher that I have not been inspired to blog about it.
This year's crop of wannabes may be lacking distinct personalities that could help find humour in their incompetence but that is not the reason they have been getting on myself's tits. See if yourself can guess what it is that irritates myself about themselves.
It is the same reason that reduced myself to such spluttering incoherent rage that having scribbled a rough draft of this post on Thursday morning myself could not find the will to post it until today.
Why have these morons who sit opposite Alan Sugar each week decided that it is perfectly acceptable grammatically to replace fisrt, second and third person pronouns, me, you, they or them, with the ugly and incorrect reflexive form myself / ourselves, yourself, himself/theirselves. What exactly is it supposed to be? A pronominal adjectice, a quasi-noun meaning my actual, real, true self actually? Do theirselves not realise it makes themselves sound like morons?
This abuse of the English language isn't a new thing of course. In the past the form was used by smarmy salesmen, graduates of the Uriah Heap school of marketing, to make pottenial customers feel important, as a more intensive form of a pronoun maybe. "He may be a vlued costomer but yourself is much more important to us." Geddit? No? Well neither do I but it's feasible.
"If yourselves would favour us with an order we will endeavour to ensure your needs are met promptly and efficientl." or "Securing your business would mean a great deal to ourselves,"
Even then it was only used sparingly as a totally redundant extra layer of schmooze.
When used sparingly it is irritating, when semi educated little oiks sit waving their degrees in "business management with Klingon studies" from the University of Usedtobeapoly and fondly imagining that torturing English grammar makes them sound intelligent, I want to reach into the television and strangle themselves.