We know the Chinese government can be a bit weird and control freaky but this new law limiting the number of flies in a Chinese public toilet for men is bizarre even by their standards.
The first thing that came to my mind was what if the lads have been for a beer, had ten, and all want a wee. Are the authorities saying there should be an orderly queue. I know when me and my mastes were younger there would have been as rigby scrum. And several of us would have pressed the wall into service.
Now some might think that only allowing two flies in a toilet at once is a move aimed at stamping out cottaging but no, it turns out the Chinese government are talking about the winged, nasty kind of flies.
The new rules, set by the Beijing Municipal Commission of City Administration and Environment, also include standards on odour, demands for the number of pieces of discarded rubbish – no more than two – and that discarded items should not be left for more than half an hour. Well in Boggart Blog's humble opinion items discarded in a toilet should be flushed away immediatey but what do we know about Chinse customs and traditions. It might be a religious obligation for Chinese to return to the toilet to comtemplate their jobbies for several days.
It is not clear what penalties will be imposed on flies congegating in groups of three or more. Installing Venus fly trap plants or stinking corpse lilies or even a few domesticated lizards to eat them is a possibility as is installing movement sensors so that when more than two small, buzzing insecta are detected a cloud of insecticide is realease.
This will no doubt enrage the human rights for flies brigade, but sometimes we have to balance fairness with a commitment to hygiene.
Online critics of the move raised questions as to whether officials will visit lavatories to count flies or simply send in SWAT teams.
In February, a Chinese woman launched an "Occupy" movement – in the men's lavatory – in protest at waiting times.
Fed up with long queues for ladies, Li Tingting led 20 women into a men's public bathroom in the southern city of Guangzhou carrying colourful placards calling for equal waiting times for both sexes.
We hope the flies will not adopt a similar response.