Michael D. O'Donohoe, commissioner of jurors in Suffolk County, N.Y. has been regaling me in a comment thread at gather.com with stupid criminal stories after I revealed my interest in the subject. Mr, O'Donohoe can't attach names to cases because he is a public employee but he did tell me about some of the dimwits who have appeared in the court in Suffolk County court.

Or perhaps it is a case of the names have been concealed to protect the guilty.

My favorite story involved a man who was on trial for attempted murder. The detective on the case was called to the stand and the prosecutor asked him what happened. The detective said the victim appeared to have been shot three times. The defendant, who had pleaded not guilty to murder, turned to his attorney and, in a loud voice, said, 'He's lying. I only shot the guy twice.'

The defence attorney said, 'Will you shut up!' But it was too late. His client was convicted."

What gave the defendent away, aside from blatant stupidity, O'Donohoe said, was that he actually did shoot the victim twice, but because of an exit wound, there were three bullet holes.

The third hole was obviously in the defendent's head.